i can't find
the center cannot hold
it's too much
so fucking what
get over it
my mother didn't love me
and she seduced me
and she turned me over to the state in a ridiculous ritual of garbage disposal
and then what?
what kind of life could i have?
my own fault
i could have not stumbled on the tightrope to salvation
ii.
strange laws
of futility
where do i go
where do i get off?
my life goes along as if i'm ok
no defenses
only a kind of luck
no plans only a kind of stupid gratitude
the world doesn't deny me or embrace me
i'm not even here
my footprint is inaudible
and the truth eludes me
iii.
there it is
does anybody need to hear this?
better as anonymity
the truth revealed is only a demonstration of belief
i hear and wonder
can there be a shortcoming
to certainty?
ministry and ministrations come to pass
seriously, what is there?
i'm remembering
life and ludicrousness
sorting the fullness of modernity we despise
comforting ourselves with it at the same time
and with the belief there's no way back
and life is doing the best we can
iv.
my namesake is only fortunate
for silence
a pool of water so still the sky holds its breath
why do we remember?
why does life speak with this drunken insolence?
my life continued
so to speak
why?
what was the need?
animalistic persistence
heart, lungs, organs defying what could not be killed
is it so then,
are you for real? is there anything here?
smile
you're on tv and the world is watching
the dreams make you still
and the mirage is solace
where you go down to sleep
life times
nothing
equals
myself
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